As I fall apart

I have poured out my heart

Right here for you to see

These words I write are a part

Of my soul and of me

My feelings lie on this page and

Waiting for someone to read 

And know I'm nearing the end

Know the reason my heart bleeds

Letting you see through me

Letting you wander through my heart

So that you can know me

And watch me as I fall apart

I'm sharing my pain

I'm spilling my thoughts

Walking down the memory lane

Cause that's all I've got

So these are my words

They're all that I'm leaving behind

Read them and forget your pain

And watch me as I fall apart

The Last December

The darkness creeps in slow,
Strange fear I feel.
The stars light up the sky,
Alone I drop and kneel.

The fire's burning low,
Its down to glowing embers.
The cold engulfs me,
Touching with its sinewy fingers.

The shadows close in round,
Questions they ask me.
A court is in session,
But where's the jury?

My conscience haggles me,
Guilt, there is none.
And I ask myself,
What have I done?

"What were you doing,
The last December?"
I give my usual line,
"I don't remember."

And I ...
Am contemplating suicide,
Yet again.
And I ...
Have got nowhere to hide,
From the pain.

I watch the western sky,
Awaiting the sunrise.
The first rays enter the room,
And then I realise.

You were my greatest gift,
My only treasure.
You were my guiding star,
You were my measure.

But life's so wicked,
It cheats you of your hope.
When it takes your love away,
Then in endless darkness you grope.

And I ...
Am contemplating suicide,
Yet again.
And I ...
Have got nowhere to hide,
From the pain.

Someone like you

You ask me often what kind of girl do I want

How she should be

And what do I look for

You ask me often who's my kind of a girl

I don't reply

And I only smile

You ask me often what qualities I look for

I say a love for music

And a love for reading

You ask me often what's the girl of my dreams like

She has an amazing sense of humour, I reply

And she's smart

You ask me often what I search for in a girl

I tell you I haven't thought much about it

It will be instinctive

You ask me often if she should be beautiful

From the inside, I tell you

You smile hearing this

You ask me often what kind of girl do I want

I say nothing, I only smile

When all I want to say is

Someone like you

Questions

How does one erase the pain?

Hide from all the torment and the shame?
Why does one have to suffer?
All the answers I could not discover.
Why is everything so lost?
And the ground covered with the thick frost?
Why do the memories remain?
And make you cry again and again?
Where do I have to look for the answers?
The pain's like a growing cancer.
Where is all the happiness?
The beauty and the selflessness?
Why does the darkness surround us?
And our fate keeps decieving us?
Is everything just sweet lies?
Why do my eyes bleed and my heart cries?
Why do hopes have to fail?
And the sweet smell turn stale?
Why am I full of questions?
What is my destination?
Where do I really have to go?
How and when will I come to know?

The answers

Finally rid from all the pain
Freed from the torment and the shame
No more do I have to suffer
The answer I had to but discover
Everything that was lost, I've gained again
The frost has finally thawed away
Those memories I've erased
That left me crying like crazed
Cause I've finally found the answer
And thus I've cured the cancer
The happiness is within me now
The beauty is all around now
The darkness has given way to light
My fate has brought me a new delight
The truth was hidden within the lies
And now gone are my heart's cries
I've been blessed with new hopes
And the sweet smell for which my heart gropes
All the questions have been answered
My destination I have discovered
Cause where I needed to go
Through you, my love, I have come to know

Rendezvous

Eight o'clock in the night

Wipe the sleep from my eyes

It had felt just like an ordinary day

But at the Security Check, such a surprise,

A beautiful angel materialised

Our eyes met as you passed me by

And I sensed some connection in a blink of an eye

And I had to figure out what I'd be missing

So I turned to you and asked you if you wanted to…

Talk to me and pass some pretty moments

And forgo the loneliness’ torments

And that conversation that we embarked

Something new in my life you had sparked

Well here I am writing you a song

Even though it’s been a month, it seems so long

That I’ve known you

Feels like I’ve grown with you

That day while drinking coffee

I was feeling pretty lonely

That’s why I turned to you and asked you if you wanted to…

Talk to me and pass some pretty moments

And forgo the loneliness’ torments

And that conversation that we embarked

Something new in my life you had sparked

I hope we continue our friendship forever

And cherish every moment we spend together

I have found myself a new friend

And it all happened in a moment

When you smiled at me

And I turned to you and asked you if you wanted to…

Talk to me and pass some pretty moments

And forgo the loneliness’ torments

And that conversation that we embarked

Something new in my life you had sparked

For you

The night turns slowly to light
The Sun shimmers on the horizon
I wake up beside you
And remember the night that passed me by
Those sweet hours now gone
Eluded my grasp, those wistful moments
Stare at your mesmerising face
Thinking how lucky I am to find you
As you lie there, fast asleep
Your hair over your face
Dreaming of things so sweet
My shadow falls on your face
So you won’t feel the glare of the Sun
And the morning passes us by
But still we lie on the field
In sweet embrace, but the time is short
For you have to leave and go back home
All I have then are your memories
And the hope that I’ll see you again
Another night some other time
But till then, every night I’ll dream of you
Whence we’ll walk into the night
And talk of everything under the moon
And I’ll listen to your soothing voice
And watch your dreamy eyes speak to me
I know then that you love me as I do you
The night is long and I thank the Lord for you
Walk with me and never leave
Together we gaze at the moon
And we spoke only through thoughts
Another day ends and your absence haunts me
Confronting me with my loneliness
Please come and stay with me
And I ask for nothing else
For I need you so much closer
With you, my emotions have a closure